Am I to awkwardly fiddle and fumble around with my phone?
Am I to wander away and let ’em have their moment?
Am I to butt in on an “A and B” conversation that’s clearly not intended for me to “C” into?
How does one “be” when some random guy approaches your friend when you’re in transit – either while walking on the sidewalk or sitting side-by-side on the bus/train to a destination?
No, seriously – I would love to know.
I want to swat away that unpleasant third wheel feeling, and at the same time, it’d be nice not to be falsely perceived as some cockblocking green-eyed monster who cannot bear the thought of being overlooked for a good ol’ unwelcomed street holler.
If you ask me, when a stranger suddenly has my friend and I coming to a screeching halt in the middle of the street, my usual go-to is to stand off to the side like an awkward dingleberry and mind my own damn business. I mean, isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?
And of course, I’m also eavesdropping here and there because – y’know – we’ll probably be cackling at his clunky pick-up lines and her snarky replies later on.
But for the most part, as the approacher shoots his shot with my friend, I’ve taken a sudden interest in rummaging through the flimflam on my phone so I’m not standing there twiddling my thumbs like a third-wheel twat.
Then I wondered something – how do men, the approachers, prefer their target’s friend to “be” when they’re on the hunt for their next bedroom romp? Curiosity got the best of me and I hit up some of my most brazen guy friends – the types who aren’t afraid to approach women on their daily travels – to hear what they had to say about it:
According to my friend Aaron, ideally, the target’s friend would be both a participant and a wallflower – engage in the discussion to help him look like a suave conversationalist who can entertain a room, but also know when to back off during the sorry-you-ain’t-welcome-no-more part of conversation so that he can, erm,”bag,” – New York lingo for snagging a chick.
Interestingly, another friend of mine, who wished to remain anonymous in this piece, co-signed with Aaron:
Both seem to want the target’s friend to join in, but she’s got to have enough discernment to know when it’s time to ease off and allow that one-on-one conversation to go on smoothly. Good to know.
But unfortunately for them, it’s not my job to go out of my way to cradle their path into my friend’s pants; I’d rather continue being the awkward turtle on her phone, thanks. Besides, we’ve got somewhere to be – I just can’t see myself encouraging a conversation while I stand there like an impatient imp.
What about y’all? How do you conduct yourself when a stranger approaches your friend?
Kimberly Gedeon, the mastermind behind The Melody of Melanin, is a content creator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online about everything from beauty and business to politics and pop culture. You can say hello to her on Instagram or Twitter – she doesn’t bite!
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