Wedding Politics Nobody Prepares You For

[caption id="attachment_831759" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Black African Americal Woman Bride in a wedding dress[/caption] When you start planning your wedding, you may have the stubborn mentality of, “I’m not going to let anybody push me around. The only people who should have any say in this wedding are me and my fiancé because it’s our wedding.” But you’ll see just how difficult it is to stick with that mindset. You will not be immune to the doe-eyed faces of your friends and family members, who have special requests for the big day. And you’ll find yourself at an impasse when it comes to deciding between inviting this family member and that family member who do not get along and should not be in the same room. What’s that? You thought people would put their issues aside and get along for your big day? That’s cute. But not happening. Here are politics of wedding planning nobody tells you about. [caption id="attachment_705797" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The troublemaker speechmaker

So far, you’re asking each groomsmen and each bridesmaid to make a speech. There is just one problem: one of those bridesmaids has a reputation for getting too drunk at weddings and saying things she shouldn’t in her speeches. You can’t very well have her be the one person in the bridal party not to give a speech. Or can you?         [caption id="attachment_612291" align="alignleft" width="569"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Keeping speech time fair

Each person should be given the same time frame for speeches, right? But what happens when your best friend or favorite cousin comes forward and says she’s prepared a very special speech—one she has spent months writing—that will require 20 minutes? If you give her 20 minutes, people will feel like you favor her. But she worked so hard on her speech…   [caption id="attachment_711842" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Who will walk you down the isle?

This may be a simple one for you, but if you have a stepfather who raised you as much as if not more than you real father, or if your real father just came back into your life, meanwhile there’s been another man who has acted like a devoted father figure for a long time, the choice could be tough.           [caption id="attachment_619221" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

Picking your bridesmaids

Should you make your fiance’s sisters your bridesmaids? One of them made you a bridesmaid at her wedding. But honestly, your bridesmaids' list is already getting pretty long. And if you make one of his sisters a bridesmaid, you’ll have to make that one cousin a bridesmaid, so as to not anger the family.             [caption id="attachment_711834" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Picking his groomsmen

If you make your fiance’s sister a bridesmaid, it might be awkward if he doesn’t make your brother a groomsman. Or his family could start to pressure him to add another groomsman he doesn’t want to add, to keep the numbers even on both sides.               [caption id="attachment_705799" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Keeping the guest list “fair”

Good luck with this one! It seems like you should each get the same number of guests, but it rarely works out that way. One of you may just have a much larger family, or far more friends who live close enough to actually attend the wedding.             [caption id="attachment_705805" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Inviting people who invited you

There will be some couples who invited you to their weddings who, honestly, you don’t feel that close to. In fact, you were surprised to get the invitation! But the fact is that they did invite you, so not inviting them to yours would be pretty cold.           [caption id="attachment_616901" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Including all in-laws, equally

You’ll feel pressure to include all in-laws, equally, every step of the way. If you let one parent have say on a decision, the other three will likely feel offended if they didn’t get to give their two cents, too.               [caption id="attachment_615305" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

The father daughter/ stepfather daughter dance

It’s time for the father/daughter dance. But again, what if you have a stepfather who has been more present than your real father? Or, what if your father-in-law wants a dance, but your real father doesn’t think that sounds right?                 [caption id="attachment_625716" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Budgets and bachelorette parties

When it comes time to plan the bachelorette party, you can either have the bachelorette party of your dreams, or you can have everyone you love there. The chances of both those things happening are slim since some of your favorite friends likely cannot afford to attend your dream bachelorette party.             [caption id="attachment_693104" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Who can come to the rehearsal dinner?

Each additional person at that rehearsal dinner is going to cost you money. But everyone knows that the people at the rehearsal dinner are truly the favorite, most beloved guests at the wedding. Getting on that rehearsal dinner list is a true test of just how important you are to the bride and groom.           [caption id="attachment_717981" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Religious locations and their rules

If having the wedding at a religious location that only allows people of that faith indoors is very important to the bride or groom, or their family, then that means a lot of guests cannot witness the ceremony. This could cause quite a bit of tension.             [caption id="attachment_712175" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Picking the date

When you sit down to pick an actual date for your wedding day, it may be more complicated than you expect. Your good friend is getting married three weeks before you, so you don’t want your shared circle of friends to be all burnt out on weddings when yours rolls around. You could push it back another month, but your sister is expecting her baby at that time—do you really want to potentially exclude her? And the list of issues goes on…         [caption id="attachment_710075" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Releasing the engagement photos

When oh when do you release those adorable engagement photos? There are several holidays on which it seems disrespectful to release them. You also don’t want to release them too near the date your best friend releases the first photos of her baby because one could overshadow the other.           [caption id="attachment_696752" align="alignleft" width="378"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Registries and budgets

Deciding where to register can be complicated, too. Some places have such a high price point that even their low-end items are still expensive for some of your guests. But you really want to register there…

The post Wedding Politics Nobody Prepares You For appeared first on MadameNoire.