Scrolling Facebook is a part of my morning routine after hitting the the snooze button several times, trying to recall the dream I had, and thanking God for another day. Recently, a Facebook friend posted a status asking the question Can a person be too nice? I immediately had a comment to post, but I paused for a few minutes and tried to give someone else the opportunity. For one, I know that the woman who posed the question is generally a pleasant person. From other things she’s posted, I can see she’s a bit naive and wants everyone to like her.
Several minutes passed by and still no one commented–that was my green light to post. Yes. Some people set no boundaries and wonder why they get used, I wrote. She liked my comment and agreed that setting boundaries was important and that she had been asking God to help her do better in that area. So obviously, one can conclude that her “being nice” often ends up with her being taken advantage of. Then all of a sudden, her other Facebook friends started to chime in on the conversation. Sidebar: Is it just me, or do people purposely have no opinion or feedback on something until AFTER they see you comment? This happens to me all the time! Anyway, here comes the sudden interest in the great debate of being “too nice.”
Several people agreed that yes, there is such a thing as being too nice simply because we don’t know how to say “no.” I can definitely relate to that and learned a long time ago that saying no does not make me a heartless person. However, there was an influx of women who felt that as Christians one should never care about being taken advantage of, because vengeance is the Lord’s. So ultimately, they felt there was no such thing as being “too nice” because God will take care of the people who misuse you.
Those same people on her post hollering about let God handle it would not say that if someone hacked their PayPal account. They would be on the phone with the bank trying to nab the thief. God can literally handle everything, but we pick and choose what we want to go tit for tat with all the time. Stop playing!
As a Bible believer I know that God wants us to impart wisdom in everything we do. The Bible also talks about the importance of not being a fool. Saying ‘yes’ to a person’s every want and request does not make me a nice or good person. I think it would be foolish of me to keep loaning money to a co-worker who never pays me back and rationalizing it with “vengeance is the Lord’s.” That’s like the equivalent of not wearing a seat belt because I have excellent car and health insurance! No, we cannot predict everything that will or will not happen, but God gives us great insight and wisdom to make the appropriate choices. Rather than feeling aggravated when I see that same co-worker talking about the expensive items she brought over the weekend, I can avoid that agony by just saying no. And we are all human so aggravation is bound to occur no matter how much we love God.
My help does not have to come in the form of a genie who says yes to everything. And if we’re being honest, we can agree that God does not say yes to everything we ask for. He’s wise enough to know that sometimes we need to be told “wait a little longer” or “no, I have something better for you.” So the first or even second time my co-worker asks me for something, I will do my best to supply what’s needed. But after that, I’ve got to take the Heavy D approach and say “I got nothing but love for ya!” That love comes with sound advice about what he or she can do to avoid being in a rut. My Christian background is not a cop out for being a doormat.
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